Monday, January 24, 2011


Can someone tell me how much TIME has to go by before this pain goes away. For the past
5 1/2 months that's what I have heard it takes time. I miss my husband so much it actually hurts at times. One of my favorite movies is The Notebook. I know the book ends differently than the movie. I really think I will die from a broken heart like Noah in the movie. The love he had for Allie is like the love I have for Ray. How do you ever get over that kind of pain and emptiness. It's not just the missing him but it's the loneliness that comes with it. I'm sure followers are probably tired of my sad posts. If you don't feel happy it's hard to write a happy posts. I don't care about decorating which was my passion. I go through the motions and don't remember one day from the next. I can not remember or feel any happiness. All I feel is sadness and loneliness. I have been going to the Dr's for months and take more than my share of meds. Nothing has helped the pain. So if anyone has any suggestions or can tell me how much time I am listening.
Today I went back to work yet again. It's been almost 2 months this time. I am having a really hard time with working for the hospital Ray died in. The economy is so bad I almost was forced back to this job. If you read any of my other posts you would know this is not my dream job. I am on the phones for 8 hours a day taking inbound calls. Can I just say some people are so rude they can ruin your day. I sat and listened today to get my feet wet but will probably go back to my own phone tomorrow. I hope eventually I can find another job closer to home.
It's nice to know I can come here and vent. I have made some amazing friends on here and am thankful you are in my lives even if it's only through my blog and FB. I hope one day to blog something happy.