WOW MAY ALREADY

Hello everyone,

I wanted to post once a month. I totally missed April. Sad to say nothing new to report. I've been home with a migraine the past 2 days. It seems to be easing up. Let's see still house hunting nothing yet. I did apply for a new position at work. Once again I was knocked out by someone with just a little more experience and a college degree. College plays a big part at my job. I think it's great and hope my girls finish but for me not so much. Eleni told me yesterday college is hard she may just get a job. I looked at her and said don't tell me. I told you once you graduated high school you are on your own with college. Tough love I know but this one just doesn't want to grow up. I'm guilty since Ray died I've tried to give her all I can. I am hoping she can get a summer position at my job. Once she gets that pay check I'm hoping she will want to keep getting one. Plus it will give her something to add to her resume. I just don't know what to do anymore. Going from a two parents and two pay checks to one has not been easy at all. I try to do the best I can and pray a lot.

The weather is just crazy. It feels more like Fall than Spring. I don't remember the weather being so up and down before. You just have to dress according to the weather instead of the season. Makes me curious as to what Summer will be like. I love Summer and hot temps. Anytime I can put on flip flops over shoes and socks I' happy. Families don't get together like they used to when I was younger. Makes me sad to think about the world I grew up in compared to the world today. No one place is any different than another. The whole Boston thing really made me think about things. Remember when the US was the land of opportunity. Families came here to work and make a better life for themselves. Now seems like I work so they can come here and get a better life at my expense. Makes me sad all these poor children who are in debt when they graduate because of school loans but others can come here go to school for free only to endanger those who have provided for them. Sorry I usually try to keep my opinions to myself but this just really irritates me. I hope my children never have children. The world is just too crazy anymore. 

Well, I think I covered it all. Home, work, school, and terrorist. Sorry for getting on my soap box about things but sometimes we just have to vent. I hope I haven't offended anyone with my comments. My point is some people make it hard for those who really want to do better. God Bless the U.S.A.

Donna

Happy Easter

 I am trying to post at least once a month. I sure did wait to the last minute this month. I hope everyone had a Happy Easter. I cooked a ham and all the trimmings. The Easter Bunny stopped by and left the girls a bag of goodies. I guess you never get too old for the Easter Bunny.

Well, I did it! I've been saying for over a year I want a new sofa and I finally decided on what I wanted it's here and I love it. I love all of my country/prim decor but I needed a change. I was going for a more cottage beach look. I so wanted the white denim furniture but in the real world it would be too much up keep. So I went with the blue denim. It's all slip covered and can be washed it needed. I painted my furniture pieces white and then there are my many baskets. I am still in the process of decorating. Changing styles on a budget can take some time. I'm still trying to decide what I want to put on my big wall behind my sofa. When I get it all together I will post pictures.

Still trying to move. Not sure where we will end up or if we will stay. I keep telling myself if it's meant to be than it will happen. Work is still work nothing exciting. I keep hoping for some kind of positive change. Some days I feel so overwhelmed with work bills and missing Ray. It was about this time three years ago I was on cloud nine. We found this house and it was affordable and just enough room. We were so excited because we had been at my Mom's for about a year. It was nice to know we could have our own space and our things out of storage. Ray would come and paint while the bathroom was being redone. We were supposed to move in May but we were pushed back until June. If I could have any wish of course it would to be to have Ray back but most of all that happy feeling. Well, I will try to post sooner next time and with pictures!

Donna

Hello Again

Just wanted to pop in and say hello. Not a lot going on here. I've had some kind of crud for days and I am so over it. Going to go out a bit today and get some fresh air. I feel the need to window shop or something. I hope to get all my tax information so I can file. It's like a lottery anymore will you hit and for how much.

 As you have heard me say for a year now I need to move and a new sofa. I am thinking of maybe a blue denim. I so love the white but want something that will last and not come with a lot of maintenance. I just think with 2 cats and a dog the blue may work better at this time. It would be nice to have slip covers in both the white and blue. Hey nothing wrong with dreaming. I was really into the darker colors and primitive country style. I still like it but I think I want to go with something light and airy. I love the new cottage country look. When I thought I was moving last year I packed up everything. I never unpacked it because I know I will have to move. My house only has 2 pictures hanging up and that's my girls senior portraits. Losing my husband really took atoll on me. I just wanted to erase everything and make the pain go away. I still have the pain in my heart but I need a change. We were only in our house 6 weeks before Ray's heart attack so it's never really felt like home to us. Just memories of losing him and what should have been a happy time for us.

Moving on this Tuesday the 5th is my daughter Jessica's 24th birthday. They grow up so fast. She works full time as a pharmacy tech for Rite Aid and is going to school full time at VCU. Her dad would be so proud of her. She's turned into a wonderful young lady. Well, that's about it for now. I hope everyone stays warm and well. I know I don't have any pictures posted right now but hopefully soon some changes will come. Until then thanks for sharing your homes and decor.

Donna

2013

Yes, it's me. I haven't posted in almost a year. 2012 proved to be a real challenge for me. Getting Eleni threw those last few months of school really took it's toll on my pocket book. All I can say is I did it and I survived. Graduation was a real mess. My daddy was in an accident the Friday before and wasn't released from the hospital until that next Monday. So he wasn't able to come down. Ray's brother in SC was supposed to come but he sent Eleni a text saying he couldn't come because he had to work. Sad part is people put too much on Face Book. He didn't have to work he decided he rather stay at the beach. Eleni was so upset she didn't want to walk but we told her to do it for me and that her daddy would be watching.

 I never did move. A friend offered me her house which I was all excited about moving into. It was a two story 4 bedrooms and 2 baths. Most of all a front porch which I loved. She couldn't give me a move in date because she wasn't sure where she and her new husband would be living. They were trying to buy a house and until they did she didn't have anywhere for her things. I decided to stay in my house I am in now. I didn't get a new position at work but I did move up in our department in June. The extra pay was such a help! I thought well if I get on a budget plan with the oil I should be able to swing it. Well, my budget is $200 a month along with my electric bill. We had a sewage tank in the back well it was cheaper for the landlord to hook up to the county sewage than it was to fix the tank. My water bill jumped up $20. I started to drown in my own bills not to mention the holidays. Yet once again I survived. Our Church helped me get back on track with my electric bill and a friend helped me get Christmas for my girls. Usually we get a Christmas bonus. This year they gave them after Christmas and they were about half what we usually get. I will not count on that money in the future. That bonus helps a lot of people get Christmas for their children. I was thankful for a little extra to help me catch up for the New Year.

I decided to take this week off for a mental vacation. I now have a cold and my head feels like it weighs 100 lbs. I am using this time to catch up on blogs and friends. I am hoping I can offer more posts and a new name for my blog. I am expecting some big changes to come in 2013. I am at a point where I am going to have to move. I just can't afford oil and electric. I am going to try to do some things I never thought I could do. My since of style really changed. When I thought I was moving this past year I packed up all my decor and pictures. I realized I want to go in a new decorating direction. I want to lighten things up maybe go more of a beachy look. Oh I am still looking for a new sofa. That will decide what color combination I will use. Everything in my past was all about Ray and I. I need to change things up a little. I save all my Country decorations just in case I change my mind.

I still struggle with Ray being gone. I really believe he was my soul mate. I have no desire to meet anyone. I'm not lonely as much as I miss our talks and rides to and from work. I was truly happy and he was the love of my life I just don't think I could or would ever want to replace that.

On a good note I love Pinterest. It's so addicting. I have so many ideas and recipes to try. My girls did make me something from pinterest for Christmas. Home made gifts are the best because they are made with love. I hope you all had a wonderful and blessed New Year.

Donna

Just Another Day at Work...

 As many know I have been house hunting and job hunting. No luck on the house situation YET! I have been applying for internal jobs at my company. My application is always put through and I usually get an interview. Usually I am beat out by someone with who has attended college. I hope all young people realize how much that is needed these days. Anyway I still have 2 applications out and my application is under review. So maybe just maybe I will get lucky with one of them. I have been in my current position 3 years this June. Some days ca be very stressful but over all it's okay. The one issue I have is the pay. After they take out for insurance I don't have a lot to bring home. Never the less I am thankful to have a job. Going down to one income is a huge transition. My girls will be moving out and I want to know I can take care of ME! So like I said maybe a new position and more pay. :)

My company has a program they call Mission Memories. it's about how we have went out of our way to help a member.
I work in a call center for a Medicaid HMO. It's amazing how we give some people everything and it's still not enough. Then there are some who can't thank you enough. I take pride in each and everyone of my calls. I answer the call and treat everyone the same. Some callers are not as grateful then there are the calls you will never forget. This week I submitted my Mission Memory. Immediately it was accepted. I was asked to read mine at the staff meeting. I was so nervous. I thought my knees were going to buckle and it felt like I spoke to fast none the less I survived. I'd like to share that story with you.

A few weeks ago I had a member call. I noticed right away that she spoke very softly and slowly. She needed me to fax over her contract so the doctor’s office so they would see her. She also needed to schedule transportation, and became upset because she didn't have all the information.
I asked her for the doctor’s number and I called to get the address, then scheduled her transportation and answered a few questions she had about Virginia Premier.
When the call was about to end, I asked if she needed anything else and she began to cry. She said “these are happy tears”. She thanked me several times for taking the time to help her and for being so patient.
She then said “I have MS and sometimes people rush me and treat me like I'm stupid.” She thanked me again for helping her.

This is one call I will never forget. She put tears in my eyes and made me feel so good about what I do. After the meeting I received instant messages, emails, phone calls and people stopping me to tell what a great job I did. Our staff meetings include everyone in the Richmond office. We have other locations as well. I was told the Vice President over my department read my story in the Tide Water location. As I said I try to start every call the same so it was just a normal day for me but it was nice to share the story with others in the company.


Donna
  

Simply Saturday

Well, I slept in a little later than I had planned. I went to my friends house Teresa today. She is hemming Eleni's dress for me. She is not only a great friend but a great seamstress. We visited with her for a bit and did some catching up. Teresa and I had become really close and after losing Ray I pushed everyone away. I just didn't want to be bothered. Although I have never felt that way about my friends it was easier to be alone. So it was good just hanging out with her for a little bit. My girls also love her she is so good to them!
After visiting with Teresa we went to tan. I just find this so relaxing. I know it's not good for you but hey what is anymore? Our next stop was the grocery store. I hate the grocery store! It cost so much to eat and drive. I don't know what we are going to do with things going up and our pay checks staying the same. I will be honest some days I really worry about the future of this Country.


After all my running it was home for the evening. Eleni is out with her boyfriend. Jessica is out seeing Hunger Games with a friend. It was just me and the pets. I fixed me a sandwich watched some TV. Then I started a puzzle worked on that while watching the movie Selena. I then washed a load of clothes and packed a couple of boxes. I figure if I do a little everyday it won't be so overwhelming when it's time to move. Still not sure where we will end up but I'm not to stresses at the moment. Now I'm catching up on FB, Gmail, and blogs. I thought I would do a quick post.


I have heard mixed feelings about this early Spring we have been having. I can only say I am loving it. I love the time change I wish it was like this all year. I love seeing the sun when I get off and enjoying it when I get home. The Winter months really bring me down. I sleep a lot and hate to go out. When it's warm I try to get up earlier and enjoy the beautiful days. I know Summer may be a beast this year but it's better than the cold. Plus everything is so much prettier and cheerful. I love seeing all the flowers bloom and the azalea bushes and trees in bloom. Makes me a little happy and we all know how much I need that these days. Well, I won't keep you all any longer. I think I'm going to work on my puzzle for a bit. Happy Spring Everyone!


Donna

It's been awhile.

Life started moving in the fast lane. Eleni graduates this year so I was all wrapped up in the needs of a senior. We have already bought prom dress and shoes. Graduation dress, shoes, cap, and gown also all taken care of. She has already started tanning for the big days ahead. I can remember back in the day before prom everyone would be laying out trying to get a little bit of color. Ahh those were the days. I can remember going to the beach, lake, and even the river to get that summer tan hours and hours of just laying there. I must admit I can not take that heat anymore. I make it about 30 minutes and I'm done. I am a sissy now I also tan. Hey I'm a firm believer in fat looks better tan. :)

I have been asked a few questions about myself. I'm going to try to answer everyone hopefully.  I do not craft anymore unless it's to repaint something. I used to cross stitch a lot but now it hurts my eyes and I don't have the patience to finish anything. I do have several pieces in my house of cross stitches I have made in the past. I was a huge scrapbook junkie. After Ray died I basically quit taking pictures and have not done any scrap booking  in over a year. I have a few pictures from early years and of course Eleni's senior year to do. It's just not the same as before losing Ray. He would always want to see what I had done and always had something nice to say. I miss the feed back I guess not to mention the pictures of him!

I have been asked was I seeing someone to help me trough losing Ray. The answer is yes, at one time I was seeing a counselor, my primary care physician, and a psychiatrist. Now I only see the psychiatrist. I had an appointment with him last week. He says I'm still not where he would like me to be. I'm just not ready to accept all of this I will be honest. I still wish for a miracle. It's very hard going from a couple of 24 years to being single and alone. It's not a feeling I would wish on anyone. I have been asked by many do I think I would ever date again. My answer is NO! I just don't want to get that involved with anyone again. I could not stand to go through another loss like this. Maybe in time I will change my mind but I doubt it. Ray was and will always be the love of my life.

I want to tell each and everyone of you thank-you. You have been so supportive and kind. Thank you for sticking by me through my loss. I feel very blessed to call you all a true friend. Until next time remember to always say I love you and thank you. What a great place this would be if we all just remembered those two quotes. I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday.

Donna