Friday, June 17, 2011

UPDATE

It's been awhile since I was last here to comment. I drop in every now and then and read your blogs. I have met so many wonderful people here in the past 2 1/2 years. I have been blessed with new friendships, many comments and gifts. You have listened to me complain and cry my heart out. I want to thank everyone for the kind words and emails. I still have days when giving up would be easier than the pain. I push myself to get out of bed some days. When Ray first died everyone told me it takes time give it time, but no one could tell me how much time. There is a country song by Sara Evans called I get a little bit Stronger. I try very hard to get stronger everyday. Although the song is about a relationship ending some of the lyrics really hit home. So to all of you who have stuck by me once again THANK-YOU!


I have decided to stay in my home and stick it out one more year. After Eleni graduates I will probably move. Until then I'm trying to make this house a home again. When Ray first died I had this need to get rid of everything. I started with his tools and clothes. I wished I had waited longer but my heart was breaking every time I seen or smelled his clothes. I still have tons of pictures of him hanging through the house. His sword collection is in the hall and his golf clubs in the garage. I could not erase the pain by giving things away. I am now in a giving away mood again. This time I feel the need to start over, I am opened to any suggestions. I love the prim look which I have in my kitchen! I don't know about my living room any pictures to share of your living rooms would be great. I can't afford new furniture right now so I have to work with what I have. Which the colors are burgundy,sage and mustard plaid. I think the pattern is called Thyme. I will be decorating on a budget. I just feel like I need a change. Speaking of kitchens mine is finally decorated. I will try to share pictures later. If anyone out there collects Boyd's Bears resin and stuffed please email me. I have too many and want to scale back. Bears free to a good home. Along with a change I feel the need to simplify my life a little more.


As many of you know I have had a rough couple of years. Four years ago after Ray had his mini stroke he really went down for awhile. I babysat at the time and volunteered at our neighborhood school. A friend called me one day and offered me a job with her at Wachovia Securities. Things were really tight and the girls were older so I took the job. By the time I started we had some serious financial issues. I put our debt into a debit program. I am happy to say I made my final payment today. It's a bitter sweet feeling. Ray and I were going to buy a newer truck when this was paid off. I will keep the truck we have because we worked together to pay it off and maybe one day I will be ready for a newer truck. Another country song comes to mind Don't Blink by Kenny Chesney. Things can change in the blink of an eye. If you get anything out of my blog I hope that you realize there may not be a tomorrow so make today and everyday count. Take the time to enjoy the little things.


Donna


9 comments:

Susannah said...

Oh Donna, you are so sweet! Sounds like you have thought things through and now...maybe a little bit.. you can venture ahead.

Last night, out of the blue, I sent you an email. I am praying for you and honestly wondered how you were doing. It came back to me this morning. I am glad I saw your post tonight. If you were my close friend...I would sit you down and tell you how very proud of you I am. But I guess I can still say it. You are amazing. You have been through alot. I pray that you continue to feel better.

Friends,
Susannah

Dan said...

Donna~

I just wanted to tell you that reading your blog has made me try to live each day to its fullest. Sometimes we all get marred down with the things that are not important and forget to appreciate the small things. You may not know this yet, but you are an inspiration to more people than you realize. You have faced this heart wrenching live change with dignity and grace. You have had the courage to say it stinks and hurts like crazy. But through all of this it sounds like you are starting to heal. I am so glad and proud of you.

I think doing some decorating is a wonderful idea. I bet if you post some pictures of the room you are wanting to redo there will be lots of people who will give you some great ideas. I would be happy to give you some too.

I hope you have a good weekend and thank you for reminding us all to enjoy the little things in life.

~Dan~

rachel said...

Donna,
I too have thought of you many times & wondered how you were doing. I'm happy to hear things are a little better ~ I still can't imagine what you have been through or will go thru. You sound like a very strong woman & I pray for you & your girls to continue to heal.
I agree that some decorating is a good idea. Sounds like the colors are on the "prim" road already! You'll have to post a few pics & list a few things you really like. I'm always decorating on a budget ~ I like to paint signs & redo thrift store finds ... gotta love a bargain! lol
I hope you have a great weekend sweetie & I hope we hear from you again soon!

Carmen C. said...

Congrats on making that final payment Donna! Your strength through all you have gone through is an inspiration to all, and I love Kenny's "Don't blink" song, so very, VERY true! I can't wait to see your kitchen, and as for the living room, I think go with what you like, colors and items that make you smile:)

bettyj said...

Donna, It is so normal you are read to change some of your decor. I think women especially are nesters and we get comfort from creating a warm, loving environment. Take a day at a time. Don't neglect yourself,and find something in everyday to be grateful for. It will be hard, but it will be there.I suggest you get on picture trails and look for ideas. Good luck and keep us posted
betty

renee said...

Donna,
I am happy that you posted! I have thought about you several times, but I figured you will hopefully come around.
I think sometimes, we all need a change. It can be a challenge to do on a budget sometimes, but I believe God will make a way. So far, I haven't gotten much done project wise at our house! LOL!
Perhaps you could post some photos of the areas you want help with so we can see too.
Do you have any ideas as to what you might be wanting to do? Are you wanting to paint cupboards and things?
I do hope that you will post more, and just know that you have alot of people that do care about you!
Blessings,
Renee

Tammy ~ Country Girl at Home ~ said...

Donna,

I got your email! My emails to you had been returning....and I found out why! I'm going to email you!

I think redecorating is a great idea and doing it on a budget will help you search things out more and hopefully be therapeutic for you! The book Organized Simplicity is a great book for simplifying!

You are so right....I don't want to ever take anything or anyone for granted.

It's good for you to post here and you never know who you are helping with your words....who you are inspiring and just how much a post means to them! God will use you!

I will continue to pray for you, Donna!

Lots of love,
Tammy

•♦•The Olde Weeping Cedar •♦• said...

I think you're pretty darn amazing, Donna! ♥♥♥♥♥

((hugs))

jaxonsgram said...

Donna, I am trying to get caught up on my blog reading and so many other things, and I am glad that I have read yours. You are sounding much better, although I know your heart is and always will be broken. I am glad that you are finding a little light, a shimmer of hope and a bit of peace, at least every now and then. All of this will come more often and last longer, but it still just takes that ugly word "time".
It's nice that you are ready to start your decorating once again too. It will keep you busy and your mind occupied with other thoughts. I love the prim decor and I have decorated on a budget many times and have loved how it all has turned out!! I can't wait to see pictures!
Do you possibly have the Boyd's Basketball Bear? All I remember is one of the Bears sitting on a basketball, I think? My girlfriend collects these and has for many years and when her son died she buried him with the basketball Bear. I'd love to replace it for her. Email me if you can.
As always I am sending you hugs! Lorry