I woke up with a stomach bug this morning so I called out. I was catching up on the blogs and realized I hadn't posted in almost a month. So today I thought I would write about something very special to me. Today Ray and I started dating 25 years ago. We were so young and carefree seems like ages ago. If I had known then what I know now I wouldn't have done anything differently except maybe take more pictures of us together. I work with a group of young women most single mom's. I admire them for making it but I also feel bad for them. They were saying yesterday how hard dating is now. They asked how did Ray and I made it all those years. I said it's like a job you have to work at it. You have to be willing to listen and forgive. They don't think they will ever have that. I said when the right one comes along you just know. I have faith that one day they will also find the love of their lives.
Today I find myself really missing Ray. What an amazing thing these days to be with someone all those years. It's funny the things I can remember now that I had forgot about over the years. Once Ray and I went and sat on a park bench that over looked the city. I rode by there thousands of times before and forgot all about it. Seems like my memories are so much more detailed. I do sleep a lot these days. Everyone says I am sleeping too much and I need to get out and do something. The best thing about sleeping is dreaming about Ray. I just close my eyes and it's like living my life all over again. That is until I have to wake up and realize that he's gone all over again. I can only say in all honestly I would do anything and give up everything for one more day.
I will say one thing all my blog friends have stuck by me. You all always leave me a positive and kind comment. I don't hear from anyone anymore. Our phone never rings and no one ever comes by. This didn't used to bother me because I had Ray and the girls. They are my whole life. I just feel bad for the girls seems like everyone has moved on and forgot about them. It's hard being both mom and dad. I miss my old life.