Wednesday, November 2, 2011


I woke up with a stomach bug this morning so I called out. I was catching up on the blogs and realized I hadn't posted in almost a month. So today I thought I would write about something very special to me. Today Ray and I started dating 25 years ago. We were so young and carefree seems like ages ago. If I had known then what I know now I wouldn't have done anything differently except maybe take more pictures of us together. I work with a group of young women most single mom's. I admire them for making it but I also feel bad for them. They were saying yesterday how hard dating is now. They asked how did Ray and I made it all those years. I said it's like a job you have to work at it. You have to be willing to listen and forgive. They don't think they will ever have that. I said when the right one comes along you just know. I have faith that one day they will also find the love of their lives.

Today I find myself really missing Ray. What an amazing thing these days to be with someone all those years. It's funny the things I can remember now that I had forgot about over the years. Once Ray and I went and sat on a park bench that over looked the city. I rode by there thousands of times before and forgot all about it. Seems like my memories are so much more detailed. I do sleep a lot these days. Everyone says I am sleeping too much and I need to get out and do something. The best thing about sleeping is dreaming about Ray. I just close my eyes and it's like living my life all over again. That is until I have to wake up and realize that he's gone all over again. I can only say in all honestly I would do anything and give up everything for one more day.

I will say one thing all my blog friends have stuck by me. You all always leave me a positive and kind comment. I don't hear from anyone anymore. Our phone never rings and no one ever comes by. This didn't used to bother me because I had Ray and the girls. They are my whole life. I just feel bad for the girls seems like everyone has moved on and forgot about them. It's hard being both mom and dad. I miss my old life.



taylors*farmhouse*attic said...

Oh, I was just telling a friend earlier that " life doesn't stop for the grieving"...You just want to yell " Hey everyone! A very special person has left this world".."Just stop and be silent"....But life just goes on around us...I think of you often and include you in my prayers~~hugs,Jen

adsgram said...

Donna...I just want to say Thank you for the little suggestion about taking more pictures of our loved ones and esp. husbands and wives together! Also, I am sorry about your friends not seeing you. I am sure it is only because it is so hard for them to know what to say. Nothing they can say can make you feel better, so they don't know what to do. Maybe you could call one or two of them for a lunch or something...I don't know, either...just a thought. Anyway, glad to see you still are here and know that we do care!


Farm Field Primitives said...

Such a hard day, but may your memories help you through. I agree with Lynne, you should call a good friend and have lunch Little things like that to look. forward to may help you out. Take care.

Tammy ~ Country Girl at Home ~ said...


I too, often think of you and pray for you! You two had something special and I know this was a hard day. I'm guilty of taking more pics of my kids. Guess it's about not liking to be in the pics, so I'm going to take your advice to heart. Thank you!

We do care about you! Hope you can get out and do something to make you feel better!

Love you!

Carmen C. said...

I too hope your co-workers can find what you & Ray had Donna, and I'm sorry to hear about no one coming around anymore, just when you need them the most, but alas, us here in blogland will always be here to listen and lend a shoulder and leave you with (((((BIG HUGS))))) I hope your wonderful memories bring you some degree of comfort today.

Wendy/TheCozyYellowHouse said...

Donna I am so sorry you and your girls feel so alone, just know you never are truely alone, God is always with you. Nov 2nd is mine and my hubbys wedding anniversary and we celebrated our 26th yr together, I truely don't know what I would do without him, thank you for encouraging us to tke more pictures of us together, I will make sure we do. God bless you and the girls, its so hard to see everyone going on with life when all you want is too stop it. Take care my friend!~Hugs~

Anonymous said...

Donna, I know I just met you and I am sorry for your loss. Sometimes we forget and take the little day to day things for granted and one day they are gone. We think we have all the time in the world to take photos, go for a drive together or just talk.
I lost my mom 2 years ago this halloween to breast cancer. She lived three hours away from here and we didn't get to visit as much. We lost so much time and memories and now she is gone and since she died on a Saturday, I tend to get the blues on Saturdays quite alot lately. That is why I started blogging to try and get my life back together in crafting. So hang in there and life does go on. You may have good days and bad ones, but we must stay busy and time will heal our hearts. We will never forget but we will survive.
Country at heart

Walking on Sunshine... said...

My heart really is breaking for you. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I can't believe you're alone during this time. I really hope some of your friends and family will see this and invite you to dinner or just to drop by and spend time with them. I'll be praying for you. Please drop by again. And keep blogging. Get your feelings out there, it's really okay.

Carmen and the Primcats said...

Donna, I wish I knew just what to say to make it better. I don't. But I'm thinking of you and sending healing thoughts and prayers your way. I cant begin to imagine how hard this is.

Carmen and the Primcats