TIME

Can someone tell me how much TIME has to go by before this pain goes away. For the past

5 1/2 months that's what I have heard it takes time. I miss my husband so much it actually hurts at times. One of my favorite movies is The Notebook. I know the book ends differently than the movie. I really think I will die from a broken heart like Noah in the movie. The love he had for Allie is like the love I have for Ray. How do you ever get over that kind of pain and emptiness. It's not just the missing him but it's the loneliness that comes with it. I'm sure followers are probably tired of my sad posts. If you don't feel happy it's hard to write a happy posts. I don't care about decorating which was my passion. I go through the motions and don't remember one day from the next. I can not remember or feel any happiness. All I feel is sadness and loneliness. I have been going to the Dr's for months and take more than my share of meds. Nothing has helped the pain. So if anyone has any suggestions or can tell me how much time I am listening.

Today I went back to work yet again. It's been almost 2 months this time. I am having a really hard time with working for the hospital Ray died in. The economy is so bad I almost was forced back to this job. If you read any of my other posts you would know this is not my dream job. I am on the phones for 8 hours a day taking inbound calls. Can I just say some people are so rude they can ruin your day. I sat and listened today to get my feet wet but will probably go back to my own phone tomorrow. I hope eventually I can find another job closer to home.

It's nice to know I can come here and vent. I have made some amazing friends on here and am thankful you are in my lives even if it's only through my blog and FB. I hope one day to blog something happy.

Donna

Take a Picture

I haven't posted in awhile. Christmas has come and gone and I must admit I am glad. I tried to be happy and excited for the girls but inside my heart was bleeding. Everyone said give it time it takes time. Well, let me tell you in time you cry less but you miss them all the same. I miss Ray so much it actually hurts some days. He was not just my husband but my best friend. The thing that is the hardest is being so lonely. I miss our talks we had daily while taking me to work and back. I miss Ray and nothing will change that not even time. It's hard when it really hits you he's not coming back all I have now are years of memories and scrapbooks. Which brings me to the point of my posts. One thing we never did and I wanted to do in August when we were all nice and tan was a family portrait. Well, Ray died before we could take the picture. Next time your taking a picture of your house and decoration sneak a picture or two of your hubby and kids. You can never have too many and make sure you get someone to snap a few of you as well. We have very few of Ray and I together because I was always behind the camera but I am thankful for the few I have and cherish each and everyone. They help tell the story of our love!

Donna

Happy Anniversary

This is the day that would have been our anniversary. This is Ray and I 23 years ago. He gave me my engagement ring on this Christmas 1987. We were married less than a year later. He was the love of my life and that will never end. I still miss him as much as I did the day he died.

My life has been really crazy lately. First they insisted I come back to work sooner than anticipated. I thought I could handle it but seems I couldn't. The Dr took me out of work yet again. If most of you could see me most days I am a wreck still. I have a few good moments every now and again. I don't blog a lot but I try to read every one's posts. Some of you have been so good to me over the past 2 years and I wanted to say thanks again. I hope to post some Christmas pictures soon.

Donna

THE WINNER IS?

Thanks to all whom entered. I let Eleni draw the winner. The winner is Kath from The Olde Weeping Cedar. Congrats Kath if you could send me your address I will get these things shipped out to you. :)

I had therapy today and for some reason it always wears me out. I find myself missing Ray more and more as the Holidays approach. Thanksgiving used to be my favorite Holiday. I may put my tree up this weekend. I don't know for sure if I am ready.

I am headed back to work part time Thursday. Wish me luck and say a little prayer for me as I ride by that hospital!

Donna

LAST DATY TO ENTER

Just a reminder today is the last day to enter my give away. I will announce a winner tomorrow.

The past week has been hard for us. Thursday was Ray's birthday and yesterday was the 3 month anniversary of his death. Life is so hard sometimes. Many have asked about my girls. Jessica is like Ray and keeps it ion and keeps moving. Eleni like I is having a hard time. She is missing her Daddy a lot. Please don't take one second for granted. You never know what tomorrow holds.

Donna

GIVE AWAY

Please don't forget my give away followers will be entered twice. I tried to include a little something for everyone. Enter until the 15th and I will draw a winner the 16th.

There is a berry twig, Thankful Tart, Heart Rowe Pottery Plate and stand, Star ornament, elf ornament, Snowman plate and stand, and a black tin candle holder. Hoping there is something in there for everyone!

Donna

Happy Birthday Ray

Along with it being Veterans Day it would have also been Ray's 42 birthday. I still can't believe he is gone. I miss him so much. I have had a very hard time accepting his death. I have been seeing a grief counselor weekly and my Dr has been treating me for post traumatic stress. Let me tell you we all love and lose but I never knew how lonely I would feel. I was going to give up my blog and even thought I would change the name but ~Never So Simple~ seems to sum it up for me. Thanks to all of you who have stuck by me through all of my ups and mostly downs. Thanks for the kind words and hugs.

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On that note what's a 100 post without a give away. It's not a lot but I wanted to get a few things together to say thanks for being my friends. I will announce a winner November 16th so you have until the 15th to enter. Make sure you tell me if you have followed me so I can enter you twice.

DONNA