Friday, December 30, 2011

Changes

A sudden sadness came over me today as I took down the Christmas decorations. I had a very hard time with Christmas this year. I bet our tree wasn't cut on 10 times. This past week I have cut it on every night. Something about the tree brought me peace. Like sitting by my pool did in the summer months. Why must the things that bring us the most comfort and peace have to go away?

Everyone has plans for New Year's even if it's to sit home and watch the ball drop. Staying at home doesn't bother me at all it's the loneliness that comes with it. I have struggled time and time again with losing Ray. I didn't just lose my husband and friend I lost my title as a wife. I can always remember wanting to get married and have children. I loved being a wife. It's hard because when someone dies every thing changes. You are now not a couple but single no longer a wife but a widow things will no longer be what they were. Once again my comfort and peace were gone.

I hope everyone this year will treasure every single day you have with loved one's. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Takes a lot of pictures and make a lot of memories. My memories are now all I have for peace and comfort. If you have gotten anything out of my blog this past year remember to say I love you when you can and I'm sorry when you need to! I never imagined my life like this and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Happy New Year everyone and thanks for stopping by!

Donna

8 comments:

lilraggedyangie said...

Donna,
I dont think you realize what an impact your strength and heart has on others . Through such tragedy , even if daily life is hard you are such an inspiration , I can only hope to be half the woman you are ! Wishing you peace and many happy memories in the New Year !hugs lilraggedyangie

Carmen C. said...

(((((BIG HUG))))) Donna, I know it had to be hard for you. We are treasuring every moment of the kids being here and little baby Tyler as well, it will be over too soon. Hopefully one day you will have some grandbabies and just think of the fun they will bring to your life and your holidays:) Maybe you can replace the Christmas tree lights with some other soft soothing lighting to enjoy?

annie said...

No words to express...,,,, but your courage can help someone else carry on. May the New Year help you, comfort you, and give you a measure of peace.

Susannah said...

Keeping your words close to my heart. I'm sure you have touched so many people. Without you realizing it, you have probably been an inspiration to others. I am praying that you will find some peace in the New Year.

Uptown Antiques said...

I needed to hear that today. Thank you and I'm so sorry. I hope God brings you the peace you need.

Hillcresthome Prims said...

Donna, I want to thank you so much for joining my blog.
I am praying for you and your daughters.
This year I pray to the Lord for you to find peace and happy memories. Donna I have been married
for 23 yrs to my soul mate, best friend well I am going to emailyou instead of putting it into a comment.
I just joined your blog.
Happy Healthy Peaceful New Year to my new blogging pal,
Warm Hugs and Kisses,
Tricia XO

Karen/My Colonial Home said...

Hi Donna,
I am so sad that you had to endure this part of life...I never thought like you do until you put it into words...they are deep, they are real...I only pray that as time goes on the days will be easier...and thank goodness for the memories. Isn't it a wonderful gift God gave us - things we can hold dear in our hearts....hold on tight dear lady.
Blessings for a peaceful New Year.
Hugs,
Karen

Tammy ~ Country Girl at Home ~ said...

Donna,

It's true. By journaling your feelings here, you may never know how you help someone through a similiar circumstance. I pray that God will use you even now. I truly do wish you a Blessed New Year, my friend!

Love, Tammy