I can remember this time last year. I had a migraine the night before and slept until after one. At which time I was awakened by Jessica screaming and Eleni laughing. There was a field mouse in the house and Jessica was scared to death. Eleni thought this was so funny. A few minutes after waking up and getting my thoughts together Ray came in. He saved the day scooped the mouse in the trash can and took him out back. It was hot just like it is this year. I can remember the AC being set and 73 and the house staying about 90. Even with the heat we were so happy to be in our own place. Ray's nephew and his friend were in town and let's just say boy's can eat. I remember cooking and there being nothing left. LOL! I just can't believe how much my life has changed in a year...today I sit here alone with my thoughts and memories. I still can't help but wonder why? Why Ray why then? I am feeling very alone and bored today. Jessica is in NJ to see Taylor Swift. Eleni is on her way home from SC. My girls are doing better than me. I still just don't feel like getting out and doing much of anything. I'm really missing my Ray today. Wishing he was here with me today.
Thanks for all the nice compliments on my last post. I hope to post more pictures and soon of other rooms in my house. It's the one thing that keeps me going. If it weren't for tweaking I wouldn't have anything to do other than clean. Thanks for stopping by once again!
Donna
6 comments:
Hi Donna, I just want to let you know that I think about you and totally understand how you feel and what you're going through. I've been a widow for nineteen years and I miss my husband everyday..
He was born with congenital heart disease and passed away when he was 52 years old. I knew his condition when I married him. No matter what the situation, I don't think anyone is ever ready to lose a loved one or a pet..
I have read your blog and I think you have made a lot of progress in the past year.. You just can't get over losing a loved one in a short time.
I opened my own little craft business, making cloth dolls shortly after losing my husband.. Having something to do to keep my hands busy helped immensely. I have crocheted several afghans and I love to get in my flower garden and dig in the dirt.. I have to do something to keep busy so I don't sit and think about being miserable. I like to *tweak* my home with the country/prim decorations that I've collected over the years..
I have collected the Boyd's resin
snowmen, bears and rabbits.. I don't want to get rid of mine because they bring a smile to my face when I see them.
As time goes on, I hope you will feel much better and the pain of losing your husband will ease.
Just know that I care and wish you the best in the coming years. A friend in Va.
Donna, you know I will ALWAYS stop by dear friend:) I hope your loneliness eases some when the girls get home, it is amazing the things we remember during times of great loss, the weather, certain smells, etc. like time just stops but the world goes on. Sending you (((((HUGS)))))
Donna~
First of all, I missed the post about your finished kitchen and it looks wonderful! I love the yellow ware bowl and the lamp too. I love all of it! You have done a wonderful job and you should be very proud of yourself.
I am so sorry that you are feeling lonely today. I cannot imagine all that you have been through in the last year. Just know that there are countless people thinking of you and praying for you. Your honesty about how you are feeling and what you are thinking is helping more people than you could ever know. There may be someone who is going through the exact same thing that you are going through and the are drawing strength from your thoughts and feelings.
I hope you have a wonderful week and that you are staying cool. Fall will be here soon!
~Dan~
Hi,
That's funny about Jessica and Eleni!
I really think (if you feel like it) that if you got out and did some things to keep you fairly busy, you'd feel better!
I think that doing things for other people (like when we go to the nursing home to visit with the residents) especially makes you feel good. Not only are you doing something to keep your mind off your troubles, but you're helping others, which always makes you feel good.
By the way, I found this Bible Scripture the other day, and I thought of you. It's 1 Peter 4:19.
"So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good."
I will pray for you!
God bless you,
Joy
Donna,
Your story about Jessica and Eleni reminds me of one time when we lived in our mobile home. There was a mouse in our kitchen that took me by surprise. I jumped up on the kitchen chair, which just happened to below the overhead light. I hit my head so hard, I just about knocked myself out. I literally "saw stars". I can just imagine your girls. So funny! And I can imagine your Ray saving the day. I know it's the little things like that you must miss. I think it's good to remember your good times. I think Ray is smiling at that. And you have the assurance that one day you two will be together again!
I love the verse Joy gave you and what she told you. I agree that by doing things for other people, we forget our troubles. It's funny how that works, but it does. Maybe you could find one thing - one place - to help or volunteer?
Also there's a song they play on K-LOVE (our Christian radio station) by Mandisa called Stronger. I love that song. I can so relate and I think of you EVERYTIME I hear it! If you haven't heard it, go find it on you tube and listen to it! I'll try leaving you this link that you can copy and paste that will take you to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vih1xwxQUIo
Still always praying for you,
Tammy
HI Donna , I am a new follower I found you through my sister Rachel ! Im sure days like today are hard I cant imagine life without the one who completes you , wishing you hugs and prayers, that in time God will help you get through this and that you may find peace in happy memories! hugs lil raggedy angie
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